Written by K.C. Bell

Wednesday, 5 December 2018

image for Trump To Resign
"Trumpy wants a suspended sentence."

Trump to resign! He'll squeal to Mueller. Claimed he said, "Mueller's one great guy! He’s a man with real guts and good ideas. I love the guy. He also looks a lot like Gregory Peck.”

Then added, “When Peck was alive. There's no truth to the rumor that Bret Kavanaugh is going to resign because he told too many stories about beer drinking, grabbing women by the parts, spiking the punch like Cosby, and that I’m going to appoint Mueller to replace him on the US Supreme Court. But that might only happen if I get a suspended sentence, and don’t cut a rug in the slammer.”

When asked about the involvement of his sons, daughter, and son-in-law, he replied, (under the whirl of the helicopter) saying something to the effect that they were young, good looking and could easily do time. They are warriors and can find a bitch in a heartbeat. Not a problem. They'll make a profit in jail. They could even get the same jail time as Jeffery Epstein. O.J. made it, and so did my friend Mike Tyson.

His final trump card, and he used the word trump, was that he knew who and how the Russians flipped the vote on election night. He wasn’t the rightful president of the United States, Hillary was. That she’s the one truly responsible for all the mess he got into, because he shouldn’t have been elected president to begin with, and wouldn't have if Hillary had managed a better campaign and that he was a victim of her failure and the innocent party in the Mueller witch hunt!

Editor’s note: He used the terms find a bitch, trump, and witch hunt?

Reply: Yep.

It was noted, by people close to Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s office, that Trump’s offer, though always viewed as suspicious, was canceled with the term witch hunt.

Giuliani wanted to add a few words of support, but Trump dismissed the idea and asked him to get him another coke and hamburger.

His final defense was, “None of this would have happened if Obama hadn’t been president.”

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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