Written by Jaki Treehorn

Sunday, 2 December 2018

image for Heartland Institute Researcher Declares Fifth "New Ice Age" Onset in Last Twenty Years

Washington - After studying worldwide temperature data from late 2016 until early 2018, Dr. Sy D. Nial of the Heartland Institute, a think tank funded by Exxon and the Clean Beautiful Coal Institute of America, as well as the Koch, Murdoch and Mercer family trusts, has declared that the Earth has entered into a new Ice Age, to last the next hundred years.

It is the fifth time since 1998 that the organization has declared the global warming trend to be over.

"We are getting really good at this. We recognized it right away," explained Dr. Nial. "We identified additional ice ages starting in 2003, 2007, 2011, also one-to-three-year periods of temperature declines. While it's true those were a little short-lived, we are certain we are correct this time - trust us!" he said.

Dr. Nial received his doctorate in Divinity Studies from Trump University.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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