Written by Jaki Treehorn

Sunday, 25 November 2018

image for Lonely Guy Finally Scores with Multiple Women After Buying Jordan Peterson Books and Lectures

Toronto - After years of involuntary celibacy, a local man in his late 30’s reported that he was able to date and consummate relationships with several attractive women after purchasing books, lectures and podcasts by Canadian professor and right wing self help guru, Jordan Peterson.

The man, who asked to remain anonymous for fear of attracting more female attention than he could handle, said he met most of the women on online dating services. “On our first dates, they all exhibited positive reactions when I explained the need to return to a patriarchal society and throw off the yokes of feminism, liberalism and postmodernism”, said the man. He was unable to describe what "postmodernism" actually was, but was sure it was a "bad thing spread by libtards".

“They are also keenly interested in Dr. Peterson’s proposed concept of Enforced Monogamy,” said the man. “The real clincher, the thing that turns them on, is when I tell them to just look at me and imagine the mating habits of lobsters. I even have the self-confidence to clean my own room at my mother's house now.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!





Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
37 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more