Bolton to be shot out of a cannon over the Middle East

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Wednesday, 14 November 2018

image for Bolton to be shot out of a cannon over the Middle East
Mr. Bolton says: "Be there or be square!"

According to inside analysts, Mr. John Bolton, National Security Advisor, is steadily advancing toward November, 2024.

“If there’s one thing we do like it’s a good war,” is commonly expressed by Mr. Bolton and his group at barbecues and gab sessions.

Nevertheless, more than one observer has remarked: “First there was Orwell, and then there was Bolton.”

Meanwhile, Mr. Bolton’s top aide, Ms. Mira Ricardel, is under the penetrating blue eyes of the first lady herself as we speak.

Another battle inside The White House is indicated between Ms. Ricardel and General Mattis, an "odor in the cloakroom" sort of thing.

Mr. Bolton has also said Mohammed bin Salman is definitely still innocent.

Because the tape does not directly and indisputably state that when Mr. Maher Abdulaziz Mutreb says “Tell the boss” he is referring to MbS.

That Mr. bin Salman now stands in the back row during royal news conferences, with two new and older relatives of the king replacing him at each elbow, is not related.

This same Mr. Mutreb—MbS’s top aide—last summer stated he would never do anything without the explicit orders of his boss, MbS.

Asked to comment on how we can interpret these events and Mr. Bolton’s evaluation, Professor Madilyn Bonesaw, from Cambridge University, has responded:

“Well, if we use the language skills we do possess we must conclude that the entity referred to as the boss is indeed Mohammed bin Salman,” she said.

“But, for once, the politicians are tongue-tied and stammering, like teenage boys caught with fly unzipped and organ in hand.”

“Does 1 = one? A four-year-old could answer. Both stand for the same entity. Obviously. Clearly.”

"Mr. Mutreb has one boss only and that boss is Mohammed bin Salman. Therefore, boss = Mbs."

Brought up-to-date on Professor Bonesaw’s reasoning here, Mr. Bolton snorted three times and clenched his jaw.

“By everything I have learned in law school and decades of politics, there is no proof here, no solid, ultimate proof—until our man--I mean Bin Salman--says he did it!”

"But will he?"

"Of course not!"

“And, sir, will you really fly across the Middle East holding a sign across your chest: make war not peace?”

“You damn right, son. Be there!”

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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