Environmentalist Trump, on California's Fires: "Clear-cut Your Forests"

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Saturday, 10 November 2018

In response to California governor-elect Gavin Newsom's urgent request for federal emergency aid in the wake of numerous devastating wildfires there, President Donald Trump replied with a press release after seeing telecasts of the catastrophe.

"California knows that these disastrous fires can be prevented, but state government has failed to act. FEMA will send aid, but if the state had followed the advice of the lumber companies and had opened the forests to timbering, these fires wouldn't have occurred.

"The answer is not federal aid. The real solution is to allow loggers to clear-cut the state's forests so there will be nothing left to burn. Not only would that save homes, businesses and lives, but it would also create jobs, reduce our need to import lumber, and open vast spaces in the state for agriculture and settlement. Fewer California forest fires would also reduce the carbon emissions that Left Coast liberals rant about, thereby allowing coal-burning industries to use even greater amounts of that natural source of clean energy."

In a follow-up, he tweeted: "You see, I'm a bigger environmentalist than all those left wing California Democrats."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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