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Funny satire stories about meditation

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Funny story: User-Friendly Buddhism a.k.a. “Bud-Light” Hits Home with Many

User-Friendly Buddhism a.k.a. “Bud-Light” Hits Home with Many

With many Americans eager for a source of refuge but a little over the "God thing", an increasing number of people have been turning to a lighter, more user-friendly form of Buddhism, a.k.a. Bud-light, which, like traditional Buddhist philosophy, men...

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Funny story: Advanced Buddhist Walking Meditation Incorporates Chewing Gum

Advanced Buddhist Walking Meditation Incorporates Chewing Gum

For students comfortable with traditional walking meditation, Nashville meditation center Hurry Up and Sit introduced an advanced version, which also incorporates chewing gum. Like typical walking meditation, walking and chewing gum meditation involv...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Wonders What Noses Have to Do with Mindfulness

Nashville Man Wonders What Noses Have to Do with Mindfulness

While being trained in mindfulness at a local meditation center, Ben Chapman of Nashville, Tennessee, became confused when his teacher kept referring to various different noses. “The teacher kept talking about one nose breathing in, one nose breat...

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Funny story: Buddhist Hopes to Someday Find Peace in Present Moment

Buddhist Hopes to Someday Find Peace in Present Moment

Matt Millhauser of Nashville, Tennessee, who has been practicing Buddhist meditation for over a decade, with mixed results, continues to hold out hope that he will someday find peace in the present moment. “Currently what’s there is a mixture of f...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Regrettably Experiences Opposite of Spiritual Awakening

Nashville Man Regrettably Experiences Opposite of Spiritual Awakening

Joshua Hayes of Nashville, Tennessee, attended a day-long Buddhist meditation retreat hoping to achieve a spiritual awakening, only to wind up experiencing the polar opposite: he fell asleep. "It was a guided meditation, and the teacher's voice wa...

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Funny story: Nashville Buddhist Explains that His Enlightenment Has Been More Subtle

Nashville Buddhist Explains that His Enlightenment Has Been More Subtle

Brett Mavens of Nashville, Tennessee, who has been practicing Buddhist meditation for over ten years, explained that, while the effects of his spiritual practice may not be noticeable to the outside world, he has experienced a profound internal shift...

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Funny story: Insight Nowhere in Sight for Nashville Meditator

Insight Nowhere in Sight for Nashville Meditator

"People are always telling me that the end is insight," said longtime Buddhist practitioner, Andrew Miller, of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I've been meditating for years, and I'm still clueless. Insight is nowhere in sight for me!" Miller explained...

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Funny story: Woman Begins to Suspect Flirtatious Buddhist's Intentions May Be Less Than Wholesome

Woman Begins to Suspect Flirtatious Buddhist's Intentions May Be Less Than Wholesome

Caroline Adams of New York City was flattered when Kent, an attractive man from her weekly meditation class, obtained her telephone number from the meditation center database and reached out to her by text message, but their ensuing sexual banter cau...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Injures Himself during Meditation

Nashville Man Injures Himself during Meditation

"I knew I wasn't in the greatest shape," said Justin Toler of Nashville, Tennessee, "but meditation is just sitting there. I thought I could handle that okay." Unfortunately, that proved not to be the case. According to Toler, he arrived at Breath...

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Funny story: Nashville Man Single-Handedly Disproves Existence of Free WIll

Nashville Man Single-Handedly Disproves Existence of Free WIll

Resolving centuries of philosophical debate over the existence of free will, Cody Barrett of Nashville, Tennessee, definitely proved that he hasn’t got it. “It was a blow, especially at first,” said Barrett regarding his discovery of his own lack...

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Funny story: Buddhist Meditation Video on Disgustingness of the Body Goes Viral

Buddhist Meditation Video on Disgustingness of the Body Goes Viral

Striking a chord with many, a Buddhist video on the practice of asabha bhavana, a meditation in which one focuses on the loathsomeness of the physical body and its dirty, disgusting nature, went viral overnight, reaching millions eager to contemplate...

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Funny story: Lonely Skeptic Convinced He's the Only True Non-Believer

Lonely Skeptic Convinced He's the Only True Non-Believer

Leonard Jessup of Eureka Springs, Arkansas, an outspoken non-believer in God, organized religion, astrology, and lots of other things, admitted to feeling painfully lonely in his skepticism. "I sometimes meet people who call themselves atheists,"...

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Funny story: Living by Anti-Zen Principles

Living by Anti-Zen Principles

In the ongoing culture war, authoritarian nationalists continue to lose ground every second of the day. Diverse, well-adjusted human beings are living their lives as true to themselves as they can, all the while pursuing interests which are geared to...

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Funny story: Transcendental Meditator Struggles to Keep Things Real

Transcendental Meditator Struggles to Keep Things Real

As a dedicated daily practitioner of transcendental meditation or "TM" for over 18 years, Garret Fraith of Concord, Massachusetts, admitted that he sometimes has trouble keeping things real. "I've gotten to really dig transcending," said Garret. "...

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Funny story: Former Cowboy Takes to Vegan Living like a Horse to Oats

Former Cowboy Takes to Vegan Living like a Horse to Oats

Never one to worry about bucking a system or two, Clay Rogers, a former cowboy living in Butte, Montana, has taken to his new plant-based diet like a horse to oats, literally - he eats the steel-cut variety every morning for breakfast. “Been a rea...

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Funny story: Increasing Number of Climate Scientists Discreetly Embracing Buddhism and “Present Moment” Philosophy

Increasing Number of Climate Scientists Discreetly Embracing Buddhism and “Present Moment” Philosophy

While publicly expressing hope regarding the fate of the human species on a rapidly warming planet, an increasing number of climate scientists are discreetly embracing Buddhism and its emphasis on the present moment. “It’s encouraging to see peopl...

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Funny story: Due to Typo in Executive Calendar Trump and Kim Jong-un End Up Meditating Together

Due to Typo in Executive Calendar Trump and Kim Jong-un End Up Meditating Together

Due to a typographical error in U.S. President Donald Trump's executive calendar, which had intended to schedule him for a half-day mediation session with North Korea Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un, the two world leaders wound up meditating together for...

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