Written by Dave Henry

Saturday, 1 September 2018

image for Idiot Exceeds Expectations
This idiot has done well for himself

A complete idiot has shocked everyone by exceeding expectations.

“Honestly, I didn’t think he’d live this long. I figured he’d get hit by a car or walk off a cliff or something” said the idiot's oldest and only friend.

No one expected much from him because of his off-the-charts stupidity, bad breath, and horrible personality.

“I’m shocked he got a job,” said his friend. “I mean, he’s one of those guys that, as soon as he opens his mouth to say something, you immediately know he’s a moron. Everything he says is stupid.”

But the idiot was somehow able to get a job as a U.S. Senator.

“He had such a hard time finding work because, well, he’s a complete idiot,” said his mom. “He got a job at McDonalds, and a week later he’d stick his hand in the deep fryer and hurt himself. Then he got job at the grocery store, but he got fired because he gave people money while working the cash register instead of taking it. He’s just really stupid.”

But then he saw this advertisement that his state was looking for a US Senator, so he applied, and got it.

“And he’s doing great,” said his mom. “It’s the perfect job for him because you don’t do anything in the senate, and you get paid! There’s nothing to screw up, except the country, but that’s not his problem.”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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