London - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Officers from the Met's Fraud Squad finally came a-knocking on the Prime Monster's front door today as the nation held its breath and waited for the answer to that pivotal question on every British voter's lips: who fathered baby Leo Blair?
A plausible line up of cash-for-peerages sperm donors has been mauled over by the media ever since reports that the PM had the snip way back in 1992 to spare wife Cherie's religious dilemmas about contraceptive use.
As there has never been anything in the Bible about the utterly selfless and highly charitable act of sperm donation, even her Father Confessor The Rt Rev Father Seedy (sic) did not object when an addition to the family was called for.
But now that act of sheer human kindness may have backfired as suspect after suspect has been interrogated by the police in the cash-for-peerages investigation which, summed up, says that one of those Labour stalwarts made two distinct kinds of deposit, one financial and one testicular.
Spread-yer-legs betting index Aintgottaprayer.com initially offered odds of 2/1 Fav on Sir Christopher Bung-Evans of Merlin BioScams in the early stages of the police investigation. Those odds have now come crashing down to 5/4 following his arrest and questioning under caution.
It is not known what the PM told Inspector Knacker of the Yard this morning during their two hour chat in the security of the soundproofed and bug-free COBRA de-briefing room or whether any swabs were taken. But one Scotland Yard official later admitted that reinforcements had been on stand-by with a rhino stun gun in case the interview turned nasty.
