Written by mikewadestr

Monday, 18 June 2018

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A Bloomington, Minnesota masochist dentist, Hotep Whip, is offering obtuse faux patients the chance to sit in a waiting room and listen to actual patients screaming and writhing in agony while getting dental treatment. The cost for the faux patient is only $600.00 and is covered by most dental insurance.

Dr. Whip has a series of microphones put in each of his offices that connect to a WI FI network in which the faux patients are attached to channeled headphones which allow them to aimlessly meander along the flow of various channels of various patient rooms.

“This is really great” stated obtuse faux patient Lonnie Pain. “I really love listening to other people suffering as long as it is not me”.

Dr. Whip has a paucity of faux patients who come from around the world and appointments have to be made months in advance. His business is booming.

“Why have a painful root canal when you can hear someone else having one?” Asked Lonnie Pain. “I like inflicting pain on people as I am a masochist myself. There is nothing more exciting than listening to someone writhe and scream in pain”.

Dr. Whip did admit that he purposely causes pain amongst his active patients by doing things such as working without anesthetics and working with rusty dental tools.

Dr. Whip is in the process of expanding the waiting room experience by allowing the faux patient to join him in the patient’s room to perform some of the dental procedures themselves. This will allow the faux patient to get a more heightened experience.

As of press time Dr. Whip started to perform dental procedures on the faux patients for pure masochistic pleasure.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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