BILLINGSGATE POST: In an exclusive interview with intrepid reporter, Slim Everdingle, the Trump Runner explains why he has never been defeated by Wile E Mueller in their epic battles that always end with a triumphant "MEEP MEEP" as the Trump Runner churns off into the shrublands and saguaro cacti of the Sonoran Desert.
Trump: "I think it's obvious that I'm better looking than that ugly son-of-a-bitch. Word has it that his mom and dad had to tie a porkchop around his neck just so the dog would play with him. He was so ugly that the doctor slapped his mom when he was born."
Slim: That's ugly, Dude."
Trump: "Another thing. I'm in better shape than he is. Have you ever seen a coyote do calisthenics and stretches before he takes off running?
Slim: "If it happens, I've never seen it."
Trump: "Also, the chicks love me. I think his obsession with me might have Freudian overtones. Ever notice the way he eyes my package before he drops the ACME ANVIL? Ya gotta wonder...."
Slim: “Different strokes for different folks.”
Slim: . “Do you ever get tired of winning?”
Trump: “I love the smell of anvils dropping in the morning.”
Slim: “Anything you want to say to Wile E Mueller before we go?”
Trump: “MEEP MEEP! You (expletive deleted)”