Written by Dr. Billingsgate

Thursday, 5 April 2018

image for Trump Runner Reveals Why He Always Wins Against Wile E Mueller
Dr. Billingsgate

BILLINGSGATE POST: In an exclusive interview with intrepid reporter, Slim Everdingle, the Trump Runner explains why he has never been defeated by Wile E Mueller in their epic battles that always end with a triumphant "MEEP MEEP" as the Trump Runner churns off into the shrublands and saguaro cacti of the Sonoran Desert.

"I think it's obvious that I'm better looking than that ugly son-of-a-bitch. Word has it that his mom and dad had to tie a porkchop around his neck just so the dog would play with him. He was so ugly that the doctor slapped his mom when he was born."

Slim: That's ugly, Dude."

Trump: "Another thing. I'm in better shape than he is. Have you ever seen a coyote do calisthenics and stretches before he takes off running?

Slim: "If it happens, I've never seen it."

Trump: "Also, the chicks love me. I think his obsession with me might have Freudian overtones. Ever notice the way he eyes my package before he drops the ACME ANVIL? Ya gotta wonder...."

Slim: “Different strokes for different folks.”

Slim: . “Do you ever get tired of winning?”

Trump: “I love the smell of anvils dropping in the morning.”

Slim: “Anything you want to say to Wile E Mueller before we go?”

Trump: “MEEP MEEP! You (expletive deleted)”

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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