"We are brothers", claimed Donald Trump, "and I plan to visit Greece this year to see where my family is buried. That's in Europe, right?"
Zeus, the ancient god for sky and thunder in Greek religion was, by all accounts, pretty powerful. According to Greek mythology, he was raised by a goat and a nymph, which is indeed fairly close to Trumps' own upbringing. Trump believes he has similar potency.
"Melania gave me a book on all this mythology stuff for Christmas. It was like unfolding my lineage. When I saw Zeus, I felt touched. She also gave me a calendar with sculptures. One of them is a guy called David, carved out by Michael and Angelo in Rome. I'm gonna get 'em both over here to carve out my own statue for the White House grounds. They're from Italy. That's in Europe, too, right?"
The US President's IQ may be equivalent to that of a bathroom wall tile, but his self-esteem is immeasurable.
"I know there are tons of gods out there, like Apollo, the god of rockets and spaceships, or Poseidon, the god of films with sea monsters and Burt Lancaster, but Zeus, well, he's just an ancient Trump."
Crete, officially recognized as the birthplace and burial place of Zeus was fast to react to Trump's agenda. The state minister announced that researchers had in fact traced Zeus's steps back to the town of Louisville in Kentucky, and the President should first try his luck there.
On hearing the news, Trump was ecstatic. "I knew it, I just knew it", he yelled. "Melania, get yer shoes on. Kentucky, here we come..."