Written by Purple Girl

Tuesday, 13 June 2017

image for Local schools discover an epidemic of benign spots
Local schools discovered that many of their girls suddenly developed spots.

It all started at a local elementary school. The teachers noticed that several students were covered with spots. Debbie Westmoreland of Springfield Elementary said, "All I know was that at least four of my girls were covered with spots."

The students were sent to the infirmary, and there were no signs of illness. Their parents were instructed to send them to their own doctors as a precaution. The local school board is baffled, and so is the Center for Disease Control. According to Dr. Carl Smith, "We cannot seem to isolate any pathogens which can cause these lesions. Even the tissue samples we've gathered seem to be completely benign."

Meanwhile, other female students at Springfield and other local schools are also covered with spots. The school board is unsure of what course to take, whether to educate the students at home or to start a school just for spotted girls. Interestingly, there are also reports of at least one boy with the spots. However, that student is also reported to be diagnosed with gender identity issues.

So what is causing the spots? Nobody really knows, and there seem to be no illnesses involved. We will keep you updated as more information arrives.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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