US Government to Fund Online Trolls?

Funny story written by Purple Girl

Sunday, 11 June 2017

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Is the US government paying folks to hack and troll on the Internet?

Many folks these days are familiar with the term "troll" in reference to persons who post inflammatory messages online. However, it now seems that some are being paid to do just that.

In a Republican-led move for Social Security reform, many Americans with developmental and behavioral disabilities were threatened with the prospect of losing their benefits. However, after a threat of a filibuster concerning the possible repeal of the Affordable Healthcare Act, House Republicans agreed to a compromise measure, which involves providing personal computers, Internet access, and work assignments to mentally challenged persons and clients of mental wellness services.

Advocates for mentally challenged persons applaud the move. Ivan Mark Dunce of the National Association for the Advancement of Mentally Challenged Persons (NAAMCP) says, "It is long overdue for our government to assist persons who cannot help their behavior or level of intelligence. They need to be able to work for a living and feel they are making a valuable contribution to society."

Some of the online assignments include public relations for the government, security testing, intelligence gathering, promoting social order, selling products to reluctant buyers, and testing ISPs abilities to respond to terror and disruptive users. Talk radio hostess, Georgia Snorry says there is a downside to all these services that mentally-challenged persons are being asked to provide.

"We just have to read between the lines. Basically, the government is admitting to hiring folks to hack, crack, troll, spread propaganda, send spam, and disrupt the Internet," said Snorry

The Justice Department denied these allegations in a memo.

Still, there is evidence that the program may be working. Juan "Brick" Short said, "I was afraid they were going to take my benefits. Now they are paying me to do exactly what I was doing before the change in programs. I cannot complain."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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