President Trump denies revealing secrets to Russians

Funny story written by Sir Geoffroy Cockface

Tuesday, 16 May 2017

Donald Trump has tried to calm rumours that he has revealed top secret information to Russian diplomats who were visiting the White House. He made a statement to the press to explain his actions.

"I never told them anything!" he shrieked. "I didn't tell them where the missiles are hidden. It would have been really dumb, so dumb, to tell them that we keep them in secret air base hangars in Nevada, Colorado and New Mexico which I published directions to on my Twitter. I would never reveal that. Or that the nuclear codes are hidden in the second floor office in the White House in the drawer of the desk. I didn't tell them that the launch code is 5204, even if it is."

He repeated. "It's all lies. All fake news! I also didn't ask them about the video they have of me pissing in a Moscow hotel and they never told me that as long as I follow Putin's orders it won't get released. Nothing, I tell you. I told them nothing."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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