This morning, Sarah Huckabee Sanders gleefully issued a two-line press release declaring FOX News to be the winner of a covert "competitive" bidding war for White House Corps press credentials.
Terms of the winning bid were not disclosed.
Sanders was later cornered at a nearby Starbucks by a Time Magazine reporter and asked for details of the bidding process.
"Aren't the blossoms lovely this time of year? El Presidente promised Americans to streamline the government, to restore efficiency, to create jobs and to drain the swamp.
"El Presidente cannot summarily execute Democrats and obstructive Republicans as much as he would like to, but he can drain La Casa Blanca's Press Room of all pond scum, reptiles, alligators and perpetrators of false news.
"As the sole credentialed Casa Blanca entity, FOX News will disseminate press briefings to other non-credentialed fake news outlets on a strict need-to-know basis.
"You just spilled your latte."
