The news media is on fire this morning over President Donald Trump's midnight tweet saying he is nominating Quarterback Tom Brady for the Congressional Medal of Honor! "Tom is a hero among heroes,' tweeted Trump, "risking his life to defeat our enemies!"
Trump 2:am: "Tom, you really brought the right set of balls to the fray! Death to LewisLand traitors and their ilk. Bad hombres!"
Trump has refused all press interviews today with the exception of Fox News and referred requests to his press secretary. On Fox, Sean Hannity asked him if it was unusual to nominate someone who was not a member of the armed services.
Trump: "Not at all! We need to acknowledge our heroes who have won famous battles like General Washington at the battle of the Little Big Nose where we beat those invaders and our heroes that kicked those Kraut asses at Pear Harbor! Right Shaun?"
Hannity: "You got it right Mr. President. You will always take it to our adversaries."
Trump: "I know how to kick butt when it comes to our enemas!"
Hannity: "Mr. President, don't you need some kind of approval to give him this tremendous honor"
Hannity: "Mr. President, you're the greatest!"
Trump: "You better believe it!"
Breaking news: Sean Spicer has cancelled his press briefing today because...."he is having his period and not feeling well. No more briefings until further notice." It is rumored that White House insiders are pushing for Melissa McCarthy as a temporary replacement.