The sound of uh huh uh huh uh huh accompanying themrussians themrussians analysis

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Monday, 19 December 2016

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Mr. Trump as lapdog has entered the latest CIA evidence

Today electors meet to confirm the winner of the 2016 presidential election--or will they?

The latest: Mr. Podesta states Mr. Putin is responsible with his sinister, if not evil, actions to turn Mr. Trump into a "lapdog."

Why? Beyond interference with the election, Moscow is attempting to move directly into The White House come January.

Across the country can be heard the sound of uh huh uh huh uh huh from JQ Public.

The evidence must be examined.

Mr. Putin asked Mr. Trump if he would consent to being Mr. Putin's lapdog, and Mr. Trump immediately panted, wagged his tail, and barked three times.

Mr. Putin then said sternly: "Now, Donald, cooperation, you know, means you will do what I tell you to do so I can take over your country."

Mr. Trump leaped up and down and into Mr. Putin's arms in a hysterical joy.

Mr. Putin continued, "I expect to have quarters at The White House which I will occupy several days a week in order to give you briefings."

Mr. Trump thumped his tail and said: "Whatever you say, boss!"

The CIA has presented this conclusive evidence on this exchange through exhaustive study from its cyber teams Aunt Josephina and Uncle J. Edgar.

The analysis is known as the could-have-would-have-must-have-probably-did analysis.

"Might as well have" has also frequently been heard from CIA agents nodding on their way to the water cooler.

Why? Electors should back away today, not give Trump the votes, and send this dilemma to The House of Representatives.

The House can then choose from new possibilities in an "anybody but Trump" move, and rectify the damage.

Pence, Clinton (if she will consider it after all the trouble she's had), Ivanka Trump is possible, or maybe Jeb Bush.

John Bolton has said he's willing to make the sacrifice and put his name in the hat, if needed.

Mitt Romney also held up his hand on this.

There goes the collective uh huh uh huh uh huh again from JQ Public.

Now, all this Bad the Vlad activity had nothing to do with distracting from the Democratic National Convention and its sneaky and nasty overthrow of Sanders for the nomination.

Nothing to do with questions about The Clinton Foundation and the exchange of contributions for political favors.

Nothing to do with corruption in the DEM camp over this and that.

It was all pure malevolence from that monster Vladimir Putin, who everyone (remember now!) is Russian and a commie rotten no good bastard, and our enemy, and of course we shouldn't put it past him to do this evil thing.

Plus! As we all know by now, Mr. Trump is a chump who will do anything others tell him to do, eager to sit back and let Mr. Putin run the country for the next four years.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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