A young man identified as Kyle D. yesterday marked his four-year anniversary as a heroin addict. “It’s four years on heroin” he clarified, “and a bit short of that as an actual heroin addict per se.” Kyle attended a 12 Step meeting in early 2018…
The BBC, long revered around the world for producing the most inane and pointless cookery shows, has announced yet another one. The show will be along the lines of its headline "Masterchef" and "Saturday Kitchen" programmes, and will feature a bun…
Now that schools have reopened after our long lockdown, it appears that a growing number of parents have simply forgotten basic manners or, in some cases, what a car is. Here's a simple guide Where Park your ugly planet-killing 4x4 wherever…
Bobbit Mcgee, 31 is shocked to see what the result of his 2016 vote has turned out to be. 'I voted for that chap, the one with the hair, and the wild staring eyes, and the issues with his pappa, and the small hands, because I thought that whatever…
Anywhere, U.S.A. - An uneasy feeling permeated the squad room as half a dozen or so officers waited for Chief Backoff's appearance. They knew the Chief's reprimand would be harsh, biting and very personal. After all, the shooting of a nude woman had...
The UK has, for the first time in decades, lost it’s “Measles free status due to the rise of people not vaccinating their kids. More and more parents are becoming worried that vaccines not only help stop the spread of fatal diseases but also make bab...
Washington's Museum of the Bible has announced that five of its most prized artefacts – valuable fragments in its collection of Dead Sea Scrolls – are forgeries and will no longer be displayed unlike other artefacts of dodgy origin. German researc...
San Francisco, CA - Want Add Wanted: young foolish inexperienced Java Programmer willing to work with Eclipse IDE. You’ll be paid handsomely in this position, (bending over or on your knees), enough to share a room with only five other guys, or whatever things they call the natives here. Experienced need not apply. We don’t want anyone smarter than the hiring manager since he is a fr...
In a text message to everyone on his contact list, Ruben DeMarco of New Milford New Jersey has a strong message that captures and explains his frustration. "So, I'm at the movies with Kate and my cell phone buzzes" Ruben explained "who the he...
Today electors meet to confirm the winner of the 2016 presidential election--or will they? The latest: Mr. Podesta states Mr. Putin is responsible with his sinister, if not evil, actions to turn Mr. Trump into a "lapdog." Why? Beyond interferen...
TUSCON, AZ- Alec Silchuk, an assistant golf pro at the prestigious Tuscon Country Club, has apparently missed his flight in what officials are calling the "blunder of the century". The dim-witted buffoon reportedly spent the next 18 hours in and o...
Chepenseki, TENN.-- Local morons , Roy and Teri Rosheen, have had yet another child. According to local sources, the couple plans on naming the creation something "unique" like "Unique" or "Randy". The precious and soon to be dimwitted child is t...
A gas plant explosion in the small town of Highwater, KS is the type of thing that can bring out the best in people. They band together, help each other, generally pitch in and get through the crisis. Highwater had a different idea, however. T...
In recent days, weeks, and months, there have been some outrageous displays of total insanity, stupidity, arrogance, fraud, and even murder and mass murder, bringing back the need for throwing rocks at people. Just like in Biblical times. None of these events or people are funny. They're very unfunny. And although we can't actually throw rocks at others, dark satire's always been a good way to sli...
Gun toting crazies, flush with a victory over the US Government and common sense in general with their defeat of all gun bills, have decided to keep on a roll and create more gun sales by stimulating more mass shootings. Observing that the sale of gu...
Barcelona - Spain:- A man caused quite a stir in this cosmopolitan Catalan city this morning, as he paraded around the city's central square, Placa Espana, wearing a placard which stated: 'I AM AN IDIOT AND PROUD OF IT!' A group of curious onlo...
A recent study has found that unbeknownst to the rest of us the US Congress is actually getting dumber. Who knew? The study was conducted by the Society of Dysfunctional Ping Pong Players, who studied the last 20 years of Congressional Represen...
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