Written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 10 December 2016

image for Trump Says Warren G. Harding Is His Role Model

Donald Trump said today that his Presidency was being modeled on that of President Warren G. Harding. Trump stated that his cabinet was being filled with "Really greedy, successful millionaires and billionaires that I greatly admire. President Harding's cabinet was filled with similar figures."

"Furthermore, policies under Harding are about the same as mine on the financial front: Tax cuts for the wealthy and corporations and deregulation of Wall Street. If you look at President Warren Harding's Secretary Of The Treasury, who was a multi-millionaire, he's quite similar to my Secretary of Commerce, billionaire Wilber Ross, said Trump.

"He's a real winner. He made his fortune as a corporate vulture. He devoured the carcasses of dying companies, fired people, and stripped them of health-care benefits. Now he can use his cunning in my administration," concluded Mr. Trump.

"So I know during the campaign I attacked Goldman Sachs. But you know by now you can't believe anything I say. If Warren G. Harding were alive today he would do what I did, pick Steven Mnuchin to a cabinet post. I've got him for Secretary Of The Treasury. He's a really winner like Wilber Ross. He's nicknamed the "Foreclosure King," because his bank kicked so many people out of their homes. By the way he sold that bank at a billion dollar profit. He's the real deal!" said Trump.

"My cabinet is made up primarily of billionaires and crony capitalists the way Harding's was. So, Elaine Chao, Betsy DeVoss, and others that I've chosen fit the bill to 'Make America Great Again.'

Warren G. Harding's administration was one of the most corrupt in U.S. history and his financial policies are credited with playing an enormous role in bringing about the Great Depression accompanied by immense suffering. Harding's administration was a colossal failure.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
50 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more