Written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 8 December 2016

image for Donald Trump Demands A Vote Recount
"I demand a recount!"

Clearly, against the advice of his closest supporters, (Giuliani, the son in law, the daughter, Putin, Pence, Breibart, Charo and FBI) Donald Trump is insisting on a voter hand recount as he believes he won the popular vote and that only dead people gave crooked Hillary a two and a half million majority of the popular vote.

The consensus of his advisers: You're opening a can of worms. Huge.

Skip it. You're in the driver's seat.

Do whatever you want, after you're sworn in.

Nobody needs the popular vote. You got the Electoral College in the bag. You are the Prez! Everything else is: So what?

However, Donald Trump is a man of strong principle, and a win is a win, and he insists on having it all: The Electoral College and the popular vote!

Claiming that crooked Hillary wasn't going to walk away from the 2016 election more popular than Trump, and have the rest of the world laugh at his Presidency, as though he were some wall-flower...

"Some what?"

"The guy who can't get a partner at a dance. So he stands against the wall all night like a flower on wallpaper."

Next, came an encrypted message in cyrillic font, (maybe from Russia) suggesting that while hacking into the voting results on election night may or may not have happened, (without our knowledge or approval) we cannot guarantee, at this point in time, that a voter hand-count would support the results of election night.

The FBI followed with an announcement that vaguely suggested they could resurrect the old email scandal once again with the new discovery of a computer thumb-drive that agents were able to locate in one of Hillary's old shoe boxes in the basement of the governor's mansion in Arkansas.

It could present the legal question that Hillary would have been ineligible to have run for president in the first place: like maybe she was born in Canada like Ted Cruz, or Kenya like President Obama, and not in Illinois; and a voter hand recount, even if Trump lost the popular vote, wouldn't matter beans.

"Bingo!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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