New Political Party Will Form After Trump Defeat

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Saturday, 5 November 2016

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Polls show that 7 out of 10 Americans think that America "is on the wrong track." The emphasis on "change" in both the Sanders and Trump campaigns has had broad appeal to millions of voters. Indeed several million voters who voted for the "change agent" Obama in 2008 and even 2012 are now supporting Trump.

But Trump is such a flawed messenger he will lose the 2016 election. When he does, a new political party "Americans For Change" will emerge to challenge both the Democrats and the GOP. They hope to find a candidate for 2020 who is "more clever and brighter than Mr. Trump."

How do we know? E-mails hacked into by "Anonymous," rated among the best 5 hackers in the world, have been turned over to this newspaper. The e-mails are between Donald Trump's campaign chairman Steve Bannon, former Fox News boss, Roger Ailes, and rich GOP backers such as the Koch Brothers and Sheldon Adelson. Many e-mails are discussions between Bannon and "dark money" anti-climate change billionaires who have contributed billions to discredit ideas about global warming.

Bannon is the former editor of Breitbart on-line newspaper whose contributors are mainly from the alt-right and who Semantha Bee describes as "a diverse assortment of paleo conservatives, men's rights misogynists, right-wing populists, anti-PC crusaders, Jew-baiters, white ethno-nationalists, Southern secessionists, Islamophobes, Holocaust deniers, self-described satirists, trolls, doctors, cyberbullies, and good old-fashioned Neo-Nazis." Many e-mails hacked into are from Bannon to some of these people who appear to be the brightest and most accomplished of alt.right folk.

Bannon also has exchanged e-mails with GOP "dirty trickster" Matthew Boyle and "hatchet man" David Bossie.

The upshot seems to be that the new political party, in the words of Bannon, will be "the party of stupid," because its backbone will be "the uneducated white male voter who fell for The Donald's bulls*it." However, it will appear to be for "all Americans who want change." That will "include educated white GOP and Dem suburbanites who are suffering because of the international economy and automation."

Bannon says that the GOP needs a "massive overhaul" that it can't accomplish because "of the Tea Party and Freedom Caucus freaks in congress and their drool cup backers back home." Breitbart's Bannon e-mails, "we have to get turncoat Blacks and Mexicans on our side. We won't get the majority but you can't have just a 10% vote for "Americans For Change," as did Disgusting Donald. They have to be neutralized."

"For Blacks we'll say that Democrats focus too much on gay rights and immigration rather than on the needs of the community. For Mexicans we'll preach the virtues of hard work and traditional family values. And, we'll have to hold our noses, but advocate a path to citizenship for undocumented Hispanics. Of course we'll kiss the asses of Big Oil and the Kochs and tell them we don't believe in climate change. But in public we'll fudge the issue so we won't look like Neanderthals."

Alt.right Joe Barker e-mailed Bannon that he agreed but that, "We must remember that Trump did some excellent things. He had a unified strategy of playing on Americans' fears and anxieties. From Hitler's playbook he used people's fear of uncertainty and instability in his attempt to secure power. I particularly like the Trump/Hitler big lie technique - the bigger the lie the better and constant repletion until people believe it. Isn't it great that Adolph wrote Mein Kamph to guide us?"

Bannon agrees with Barker in his e-mail response. "You're right but we have to keep our eyes on the ball, it's change, change, change. The middle class will keep disappearing because of automation and international trade. Millions will be hurting or fear being unemployed. We have to speak directly to them in the campaign of 2019. It should be easy."

"The corporate media and the democrats won't tell the truth, that capitalism is incompatible with a decent income for most Americans and issues of concern like healthcare for all. The Dems and Big Media won't tell the truth, so it makes it easy for us to lie our way to the white house."

Bannon ends, "The vulgar crowd always is taken by appearances, and the world consists chiefly of the vulgar." -- Niccolò Machiavelli, The Prince

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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