Trump's New Health Plan Provides Emergency Aid to Flat-Chested Chicks

Written by Moe Nightwalker

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

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Bra futures up big

NEW YORK - Donald Trump's campaign today issued a press release detailing a new attempt to sway women voters and appeal to their healthcare concerns.

Trump has proposed a national healthcare program which provides free, no-waiting, same-day breast implants to chicks ages 18-30, provided they rate between a 7 and a 9 on the Female Body Inspector (FBI) scale. As Trump has said in the past and everybody knows, it's very difficult for a flat-chested chick to be a 10.

The program would be paid for by a tax on fat broads and plus sized clothing sales.

Trump said that he hopes the new initiative will convince chick/broad/dame/skirt/"whatever" voters and all of America that he's not just interested in grabbing them by the vagina.

Separately, Trump campaign sources have confirmed that Trump plans to dismantle the Federal Bureau of Investigation to prevent any confusion with the individuals who wear the Female Body Inspector t-shirts in public.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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