Hordes of Undead Expected to Vote in November

Funny story written by pinkwalrus

Tuesday, 18 October 2016

image for Hordes of Undead Expected to Vote in November
On the way to the polls

Republican presidential candidate, Donald Trump called it first. At a campaign rally in Green Bay, Wisconsin he told the crowd he predicts "1.8 million deceased individuals" will vote for "somebody else" in the presidential election.

Many have mistakenly understood this to be an accusation of expected voter fraud.

Journalists pointed out the number appears to come from a 2012 Pew study that found up to 1.8 million active voter registrations came from deceased voters (not that those deceased voters actually voted). This study concluded state voter databases fail to stay properly current. No fake ballots or evidence of fraud were found.

However, refuting a claim that the election is rigged misses the more obvious meaning of that statement. It isn't about voter fraud. It's about zombie mobilization.

And to make such a specific prediction the Trump campaign must have insider connections to the undead.

Many questions follow:

• Who of the Trump campaign staff and surrogates proves most likely to be in regular contact with the undead?

• Why will only 1.8 million undead commit to participate in the 2016 presidential election? Are they as uninspired as everyone else?

• Which "somebody else" do they favor?

• Could this be a "red flag" operation from the Trump campaign to discredit opponents?

Our staff tried unsuccessfully to reach the undead for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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