Drivers looking for ways to avoid traffic jams should take note of the GOP presidential nominee's campaign schedule. According to his transportation manager, Joe the Plumber, the best time to avoid traffic is the day before his rally starts.
"Moving Mr. Trump's entourage of 10,000 deplorables to the next rally is always a f***in' mess. We have to rig up trailers for them's that is white supremacists, keepin' em separate from the black person who supports him. Then we gotta keep the women safe from Trump.
After we finally get there they all gotta pee. All the gun tradin' and practicin' takes a while. And then we still gotta cook the hot dogs we feed 'em all."
Mr. Plumber went on to say it gets even harder when the campaign has to find extras to show up at the bigger stadiums. He added it can take a while to find more people who know how to spew hate. "We gotta give 'em lessons, and some just ain't naturals at it."
There is some sunshine in his job. "Thankfully, Mr. Trump says not to worry about takin' care of them there vehicles, cause we're just gonna' sell 'em to the govinmint when we're done with 'em."