Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter

Written by pinkwalrus

Sunday, 16 October 2016

image for Shit-Storm Jacket Introduced By Extreme Weather Outfitter
You need protection with so much shit flying

Everest Outfitters, known for their extreme weather gear, introduced a new product this week. Most of their products protect against excessive cold, wet, wind, and heat. Everest became the first company to identify and market to an increasingly pervasive problem: relentless and unending bullshit.

Enter their revolutionary, new jacket, a "StenchCoat BS."

Modeled after an ankle length trench coat, the StenchCoat sports many winning features:

• Stylish design suitable for both urban and rural shit-storms.
• Attached storm hood can be pulled in tight to block out hooey.
• Sealed seams keep out seeping crap.
• Odor eaters in the lining mask the smell.
• Breathable fabric makes it remarkably comfortable indoors.

The CEO of Everest Outfitters, "Ma" Millie Toughass, spoke about the development process:

"We first tested the StenchCoat at the Republican and Democratic National Conventions this summer and found it had some problems. The bull was still getting through somehow. Also, some of our testers were mistaken for flashers.

We went back to the labs and made the coat even better.

Subsequent testing, even at recent Trump rallies, has proven StenchCoat BS now lives up to Everest Outfitters' high standards. In a StenchCoat BS, the shit doesn't stink."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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