Cawker City, Kansas Donald Trump spoke out against the Internet on his latest campaign stop.
"What's the deal with this Internet thing anyways? I don't use it myself, I have everything printed out for me! All I hear is bad things about it. All the bad people seem to use it: Isis, Mexicans, terrorists, Rosie O'Donnell, Muslims, Bill Cosby, Democrats, and every bad person I know is on the Internet!" cried Trump.
"That's why I stay off the Internet. I used to have one of those dial-up connections from AOL but I hated that sound and now if I need the Internet I have one of my staff do it for me," admitted the not-so-tech-savvy Trump.
"That's why I think it will be better if we have our own, private Internet that no one but us can use. Just like in North Korea!" exalted Trump.