The Alt.Right Is To The Right Of The Crazy GOP Right

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 26 August 2016

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The alt.right has been much in the news because one of the movement's supporters, Ronald Dickhead, the former head of Brietbart is now the CEO of the Trump campaign. Too, it's in the news because the alt.right supports Trump for President of the U.S.

To find out the ideology and beliefs of the alternative right movement I interviewed one of the main contributors to Brietbart, George "Tigerman" Solipsist.

"It's a little difficult to say who we are because there are different aspects to the movement. I like to say that I'm a young cynical hell raiser who has no respect for other's feelings. I'm not a skinhead because I'm highly intelligent but I am a subtle racist, misogynist skinhead type," said the Tigerman.

"I was one of the guys who attacked women gamers because game creators were starting to employ feminist themes. I trolled around and found them and went on an unrestrained attack that made the bitches cry. I'm proud of my misogyny and I hate feminists. They attack white men who created civilization," he said.

Tigerman went on to explain why he's a racist. "Look Western European Civilization, the best in human history, is a product of whites. Its literature, art, architecture and customs are products of white superiority. But now there are hordes of dark skinned people with weird medieval religious ideas taking over Europe who want to destroy that civilization."

He said, "There is a disproportionate number of Jews in America with tendencies to oppose white people when they collectively act in their interests, for example, to stop Syrians from coming into white America. Yeah, I'm anti-Semitic, lots of us in the movement are."

Mr. Solipsist explained that, even though Donald Trump's campaign policies were incoherent and his organization chaotic, he supported him. "I like his doublespeak. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. The dude believes in two or three contradictory statements to be true at the same time, like his garbled message on immigration. It's very entertaining."

"It's cool how he says one thing and means another, like saying he wants to help Blacks and, with feigned sympathy, describes them all as living in dystopia where they can't go outside because at any minute they'll be shot in their crime-ridden ghettoes. His message really is that whites should be armed to shoot these dangerous people if they come outside their hellhole enclaves into white communities, said Solipsist. He laughed, "The NRA loves this crap, it's really comical."

"Trump is my man. He re-tweets stuff from white nationalist websites and once said he didn't know who David Duke was and what white supremacy is. He's got re-tweets from genocide sites. How does he even find these sites, there aren't that many of them on the net!"

Solipsist said that most alt.right people are opposed to constitutional democracy because it is too egalitarian. "I like it that Trump wants to deport all of those 11 million uncivilized Mexicans and build a huge wall to keep them out. He even says that "anchor babies" born in the U.S., who are automatically citizens under the constitution, should be deported too. He even advocates torture of dark-skinned Muslims 'beyond waterboarding' as he says. That's unconstitutional also. He has as little regard for the U.S. Constitution as I do."

"You want to know what the alt.right is? It's to the right of the crazy GOP right!" he laughed. At any rate, I hope Trump is elected. Then he would have access to the nuclear codes is pretty funny!"

Of interest is that the mainstream media in America is now giving free publicity to the alt.right movement as it has done for Donald Trump.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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