Vermont senator Bernie Sanders struggled to keep a straight face at the Democratic National Convention as he reiterated his "endorsement" of former political rival Hillary Clinton in her campaign for the presidency.
"Hillary Clinton will make an outstanding president," Sanders proclaimed to the hearty chuckles and guffaws of his many supporters, who evidently assumed he was being facetious.
"No, for real!" insisted Sanders, making a concerted effort to contain himself. "I'm serious! Come on, guys, cut me some slack here."
One DNC attendee, Bernie-or-Bust-er Eva Long, was practically doubled over in near-hysteria as Sanders lauded the hawkish, Wall-Street-entrenched Hillary for putting "families first."
"See," gasped Long, clutching her laughter-sore stomach, "this right here is why I love this guy. He's freaking hilarious!"
In fact, Sanders's Hillary-gushing was rumored to have evoked a smile even from doomsday-preaching, politically-apocalyptic Chris Hedges, who also attended the convention.
When asked whether it was true that he had actually cracked a smile, Hedges shrugged defensively, "What can I say? It was funny."
