Screen Scratching Lover Alleges Hillary Suffered From Fat Ankles And Vinegar Pussy Syndrome

Funny story written by Dr. Billingsgate

Sunday, 12 June 2016

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Screen Scratcher

BILLINGSGATE POST: One of Bill Clinton's old screen scratchers reveals that she began sleeping with Bill after high school and that their affair didn't end until he moved into the White House.

What is a screen scratcher? Commander Nelson, who coined the phrase, defines it as a lady who follows a man home from a bar, and after he has retired to his bedroom, scratches on his screen and asks if she can come in and play.

In her revealing book that describes her long affair with Bill Clinton, the author describes herself as a "sex addict" who regrettably sought treatment from a professional Ho monger named Slick Willie.

When she first met Hillary in 1974, she said that Hillary wore a misshapen, brown dress that stopped too soon to hide her fat ankles and thick calves which were covered with black hair. When first introduced to Hillary, she noticed Mrs. Clinton's eyes glaring at her with hostility. Fearing that she had done something that offended the President's wife, she sought solace with drink.

She mentioned that she noticed that the First Lady emitted an overpowering odor that reminded her of vinegar pussy. Nearly overcome by this, she prayed that she wouldn't gag. Although the smell brought tears to her eyes, she told Hillary that the reason she was crying was because Hillary reminded her of her favorite pussy, Old Vinegar, who died some years ago.

She also recalls that Bubba lamented the fact that he was so far behind Wilt Chamberlain's 20,000 sexual partners that he could never catch up. At the time, Clinton estimated that he had bedded only around 2000 or so. But that was before he met Monica and the Exercise Bunny

This is not the first book published by one of Bill Clinton's former screen scratchers. So far, none have been complimentary to the Clintons.

FOOTNOTE: Special mention for the contribution Commander Nelson gave to this story. Not only did the Commander coin the phrase, "screen scratcher," he also was the first to note that household vinegar was the douche of choice as late as 1960. Although polite society refrained from discussing this topic, Commander Nelson was not afraid to broach the subject of "vinegar pussy" and use it as a pick-up line at his favorite watering spot.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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