Donald Trump has announced today his presidential running mate will be none other than Yeti, the abominable snowman who hails from Alaska. The proclamation stunned political pundits who were certain Trump's running mate was going to be Ronald McDonald.
Trump feels the big fur ball will enable his campaign to snowball Hillary Clinton as well as put his detractors on ice. Yeti, will, also, help the campaign raise more money through the sale of a Yeti Spaghetti memorabilia dolls as well Yeti Spaghetti bracelets.
Incidentally, it should be noted that Yeti's last name is Spaghetti as his father was a fury Big Foot furrier and his mother a hair covered snowball. Yeti claims to have been born in Florida in 1961. He left for Alaska at the age of 18 to open a surf and golf shop, which has been a success due to the popularity of the year round surfing craze in Anchorage.
Unfortunately, no sooner had Trump made the announcement than a birther movement popped up challenging the authentication of Yeti's birth certificate. The birthers claim Yeti was born in Alaska in the year 1921 which at the time was not part of the US but was owned by P.T. Barnum who would later sell the state to the US in 1925.
Needless to say, Trump has not been swayed by the birther's claim.
"We're going to be unbeatable", blurted out a giggling Trump. "Everybody who eats ice cream loves Yeti, it's a proven scientific fact. We're going to put Hillary on ice. Hell, we're going to make her so cold that she'll have icicles hanging from her orifices".
As of press time there was no word from the Clinton campaign, although Bernie Sanders did weigh in by proclaiming Yeti had recently told him he would turn down the Trump offer and join the band AC/DC as a backup guitarist.