Written by Glenn Wilson

Sunday, 1 May 2016

Suckleville, Georgia-A single car wreck in Suckleville has claimed 23 lives. Police reported that a small, unknown type of vehicle lost control while returning from a circus gig in North Carolina earlier in the day. Police said that alcohol did not seem to be a factor, but the investigation was ongoing because of the large amount of seltzer bottles found at the scene.

The car was registered to a Thomas "Bobo" Richardson of nearby Faimland. Richardson was accustomed to driving his fellow clowns to their shows and had only been stopped by police once in his life. Local deputy Bill Thomas, no relation, said "I believe he may have been drinking, but he was so irritating with those damn scarves that I let him off with a warning."

Bobo's wife Denise said that he had only been a clown for seven years. He had been a long distance truck driver previous to changing careers. "He really hated kids and figured he could get paid and scare the Hell out of them at the same time. He truly loved his job. I just know that Bobo, Tinkles, Slappo and the others are in Heaven right now annoying the angels. That really gives me peace.", said Mrs. Thomas.

One funeral with a single casket is planned for Saturday at 2 pm in the Lady of Our Forbidden Sins Cemetery. Local Mortician Paul Daniels is tasked with stuffing all 23 bodies into a single casket as per the deceased request.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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