Under new E.U. directives, teams of alternative medical "paratherapists" have been set up by the government. To comply with the new regulations people trapped in burning cars or requiring on the spot life saving surgery can request alternative helicopters staffed by Homeopathic practitioners or road traffic ambulances with crack teams of aromatherapists on board.
Rain Dance witch doctors can be requested to put fires out instead of the Fire Service. The alternative services must be requested at the time of the 999 call and people cannot change their minds once any rescue has started. Acupuncture practitioners will be available in the case of accidents involving Chinese victims.
Trials have been carried out Delhi and reports suggest no difference in overall survival rates.
