Written by b kenneth mcgee

Wednesday, 2 December 2015

The Raleigh Convention Center was packed to capacity with a boisterous and jubilant crowd this morning when Donald Trump walked on to the stage with his Trump baseball cap on backwara. A local country western singer had just finished the hit song from 1982: "I was country before country was cool."

The Raleigh News and Observer reports that Trump threw his arms in the air and shouted: "And I was an asshole before being an asshole was cool!" The crowd roared its approval!

Trump continued: "And I am a rich and arrogant asshole1" The crowd cheered.

Trump: "we all know there is no bigger asshole than an arrogant and rich asshole!"

"YES" cheered the crowd.

Trump: "Better than a wimpy asshole like Jab Bush or Ran Paul or a fat asshole like Chris Christie!"

"YES," cheered the assembled.

Trump: "Or Hillary!"

"ASSHOLE!" yelled the crowd.

Trump: "You see, you have to be an asshole to run for president and yes, to be the president."

"YES," yelled the crowd.

Trump: "The media has labeled me an asshole and it is a label that I accept proudly!"

"ASSHOLE," screamed the crowd.

Trump: "So I say to you, people of North Carolina with your heads held high and your baseball caps on backwards, join me in being the biggest assholes in America! People of North Carolina, We were all assholes before being an asshole was cool!"

"We are all assholes," screamed the faithful.

Trump: "So join me and we cannot lose. March with me as we hold high our new hope for America---- "Leave no assholes BEHIND!"

The crowd cheered and as the band played Dixie, each attendee whether man, woman or child was given a Trump campaign t-shirt with the slogan: "Leave no assholes BEHIND!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Donald Trump

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