Senate undergoes conflict resolution therapy

Written by Martin Jaeger

Sunday, 24 May 2015

Today, the Senate had an unusual session. Unable to pass the Patriot Act because of divisions in the Democrat and Republican parties, the Senate agreed to hear from Prof. Wilton Carlisle, the noted psychologist and conflict resolution expert, hoping he could have the parties learn to pass legislation instead of warring.

"I,"Dr. Carlisle said, "have met with the leaders of the Senate, Mr. Reid and Mr.O'Connell. I have taught them to try to understand the other person's point of view, and thusly, perhaps, by working together, can resolve this Patriot Act thing and all the other disputes they have over labor, bib business, guns, etc. The key, is to role play and understand the other persons point of view."

The Senate was reconvened by the presiding officer of the Senate and the parties were ready for debate.

Mr. O'Connell, the Republican Majority Leader spoke first.

"As I've said before, down with Big Business, and up with the Unions.
We've got to have a more equitable system of taxation, where the big guy pays a fairer share. We've got to raise the minimum tax. We have to be secure in our homes from the NSA's prying ears." He smiled,and then motioned Mr. Reid, the Democrat Minority Leader, up and hugged him."

There was applause from the Democrats and some murmuring by the Republicans. Mr. Reid began by praising Wall Street, who, he said, is the backbone of our financial community.

"And,"Mr. Reid continued,"we have to lower the Corporation Tax to stimulate business. We have to provide a AK-47 for every household to protect themselves."

Mr. Carlisle from his seat in the upstairs gallery watched ecstatically.

The rumblings of dissent continued. The Democrats started booing Mr. Reid. Soon the senators were out of control and punching each other, and started throwing books and papers. The presiding officer threw his gavel.

Mr. Carlisle, left quietly, unnoticed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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