Written by Martin Jaeger

Friday, 22 May 2015

Aberdeen, Maryland has been long noted as the site and vanguard for the development of military arsenal. Heavily guarded by the security forces of the 103rd "Farflechter Division," Aberdeen has been responsible for the development of the reusable 39mm Artillery shell and the amphibious Aircraft Carrier which can leap onto land and become an air base within 83 minutes.

Now, Prof. Wim Tong Tang, long the chief exponent of massive bombing, poison gas, liquid pistachio nuts, laser weapons, booby traps, and the use of burnt marshmallows,has given new meaning to the concept of "Boots on the Ground," i.e. soldiers fighting on the ground. Until now," his face became animated and alive suddenly,"it has determined that weaponry is not enough. We need men and women to get in there and die. But no more."

The three bystanders applauded as Tang bowed profusely. He continued.

"But our new development, 'Boots on the Ground II,',does not require any soldiers. The men and women stay behind and we only use boots."

One of the three bystanders applauded, and again, Tang bowed profusely.

He continued. "We drop 10,000 pair of boots from the height of 35,000 feet. When they land on the ground they make a hell of a lot of noise. We have audio amplifiers in the boots that magnify the sounds, so the noise is frightening and to loud to bear. We then apply a killer jolt of voltage so the boots vibrate and produce an earthquake equivalent to 7.9 on the Richter."

Of the three bystanders, no one applauded. Still, Tang bowed profusely.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Military, Boots

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