Written by Martin Jaeger

Saturday, 16 May 2015


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Discovered outside a small home in Brooklyn, New York, were 2 men and 1 woman watching their home burning to the ground.

A reporter from the Brooklyn Tribune noticed these people were strange looking,and one looked emaciated and was nailed to the cross.

"I have been on a cross for 18 years, 223 day,without food or drink, except halvah and bagels, waiting to fly away."

The man was called Jesus by a one of the men kneeling by him called Peter who said,"He does healing. He was a virgin birth, and plans to come back to life, and fly to Heaven where he will meet his father, God, and the Holy Spirit."

A fireman, chopping away at the house with his axe, started laughing uncontrollably.

"Next he will tell me that people will eat crackers and wine, and that is really his body and blood.

Nothing but a bunch of Vampires.Or even ghouls."

The woman named Mary said that,"God is his father and boy can he screw.

That unprotected sex is great. Just don't get him mad because he'll throw lighting and thunder at you."

The remaining man, who didn't have a name said, "Forsake ye who verily hasn't though the fish nor serpent ye in Eden be while morning descends upon the cause wherein the Lord doesn't." The reporter learned that this man was a scribe and was writing a new book that was a continuation of an old book.

The reporter started laughing too, and said his editor will never believe this one.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Religion

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