Written by Keith Shirey

Thursday, 18 December 2014

image for Kim Jung Um Shuts Down U.S. News Media
NO MORE PULITZER PRIZES FOR U.S. NEWSPAPERS

WASHINGTON - U.S. officials have concluded that the North Korean government, controlled by Kim Jung Um, ordered the hacking attack on Sony Pictures Entertainment - a breach that led to the studio cancelling the planned release of "The Interview". The Sony hackers had threatened terror attacks against people who see The Interview in theaters.

The film, which stars Seth Rogen and James Franco, has raised controversy because of its subject matter: an assassination attempt on North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, who is graphically killed at the end.

Sony has emboldened Kim Jung Um by giving in to the blackmail of terror threats: Um said today that the North Korean government has lists of subscribers to all major U.S. magazines, newspapers, and news websites which North Korea obtained by hacking into computers.

Then Um issued the following warning: "Any American who does not cancel their subscription to these news sources may well suffer a bitter fate." The rationale behind Um's latest effort to censor U.S. media seems to be that it reports news about "The Interview."

U.S. newspapers and magazines are shutting down their operations. The reason is perhaps best found in the words of New York Times' publisher, Arthur Sulzberger Jr., who said, "We are ceasing our print and on-line news because we must protect our readers and viewers from potential terrorist attacks. We thank Sony for leading the way."

Rumor has it that North Korea will soon issue terror threats against any American driving a new Ford, General Motors, or Chrysler vehicle.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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