Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

Funny story written by Auntie Jean

Wednesday, 10 December 2014

image for Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation
Balmoral Immoral?

An ex-kitchen servant has told of daily beatings by the gin soaked Queen mother at Balmoral, the Royal Family's private super palace. The maid, Eileen Over is writing the story of her traumatic time as a kitchen maid at the Scottish palace.

Beatings were given daily to the kitchen carpet dog after the Queen Mother had had her morning pint of Gordon's. Sometimes she would beat the kitchen staff accidentally after heavy drinking in the pouring rain, often staggering downstairs with a "Claymore" shouting and cursing. Live carpets consisting mainly of dogs were traditionally used in the servant's and slave's quarters at Balmoral.

Previously Eileen had written in her serialised book about the Queen Mother personally gouging out the eyes and teeth of poachers captured in the Estate grounds. Under a 1567 law passed to keep Scottish people from trying to gain independence, Monarch's mothers could personally mutilate poachers for killing or attempting to kill rabbits, salmon, deer and corned beef.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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