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Funny story: Devil’s In The Detail In Mueller Report

Devil’s In The Detail In Mueller Report

Washington DC, USA - Donald Trump was initiated into the British Hellfire Club according to Chapter 666 of the Mueller Report. De-redacted federal papers describe events circa 1963 when the ageing Queen Mother acted as a ceremonial douche - uh, su...

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Funny story: Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Holy smoke! Pope confirms Joseph P Kennedy sainthood move

Santa Monica Lewinsky, California - "Sure is a miracle he never got busted," a US Justice Department source tweeted as the news of the American wartime ambassador to the Caught of St James's canonisation spread. Joseph P Kennedy, paterfamilias of...

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Funny story: Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

Queen Mother Beat Me Every Day - Royal Memoirs Book Sensation

An ex-kitchen servant has told of daily beatings by the gin soaked Queen mother at Balmoral, the Royal Family's private super palace. The maid, Eileen Over is writing the story of her traumatic time as a kitchen maid at the Scottish palace. Beatin...

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Funny story: Jimmy Savile was Archbishop Cosmo Lang's little bastard

Jimmy Savile was Archbishop Cosmo Lang's little bastard

London - Government papers released this week show the sordid hatchet-faced cleric spawned a number of disgusting brats including one by the Queen Mother. That offspring became a shoo-in to the Savile family after Sister Mary Bonkers, a low-IQ Ca...

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Funny story: Exhumation latest! Vatican 'accepted one billion lire' bung to inter Queen Mother in RIP Pope's basilica

Exhumation latest! Vatican 'accepted one billion lire' bung to inter Queen Mother in RIP Pope's basilica

Rome - The Queen Mother's remains were secretly taken from the Transylvanian Crypt at Windsor Castle and reburied at the Vatican. The 2003 move saw her interred next to Hitler's Pope Pius XII with whom she had a son who became President George Bus...

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Funny story: New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?

New aga-saga says Queen Mother 'was a bastard' - so what else is new?

London - A French maid toiling away at Lord Strathmore's stove has been outed as the birth mother of mad-as-a-hatter Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon who became the wife of King George VI. Marguerite Rodiere was herself the bastard spawn of the Rev Charles Ca...

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Funny story: Royals praying Queen doesn't drop dead on April Fools

Royals praying Queen doesn't drop dead on April Fools

Windsor - A service of thanksgiving for the mad old Queen Mum dropping dead 10 years ago poured cold water on predictions that Queen Elizabeth II will kick the bucket this Sunday. Apparently the psychotic centenarian's last actual words were "I'll...

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Funny story: Queen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row

Queen Mother Insult Ignites UK Irish Press Row

The editor of one of the UK's weekly Irish community newspapers stunned readers this week by telling a correspondent, essentially, to belt up. A reader of the Irish Post, Anne Leacy, took exception to an article in the February 4 edition which ref...

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Funny story: Palace old guard denied Madonna access to definitive Duchess book

Palace old guard denied Madonna access to definitive Duchess book

Los Angeles - A Hollywood source claimed today Madonna was deliberately thwarted 'on copyright grounds' from having so much as a sneak peek at historical archives about the Duchess. "Someone in Windsor Castle is still pretty freaked out," royal co...

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Funny story: Necromancer Aleister Crowley and Queen Mother behind six mysterious Tutankhamun deaths

Necromancer Aleister Crowley and Queen Mother behind six mysterious Tutankhamun deaths

The reviled satanist and his favourite muse are top suspects in the unexplained London deaths of six men connected to the 1923 opening of the pharaoh's burial chamber in Luxor by Howard Carter. New research published this week details how a total...

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Funny story: Royal Undies Rifled During Funeral

Royal Undies Rifled During Funeral

London, UK: Following weeks of shocking revelations regarding phone hacking and illegal payments to police officers, it has now emerged that a News of the World "journalist" broke into Buckingham Palace during the Queen Mother's funeral in 2002, and...

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Funny story: Prince Philip confesses to Prince Charles that he is really going to miss reading the News of the World

Prince Philip confesses to Prince Charles that he is really going to miss reading the News of the World

Prince Philip is obviously upset at the demise of his beloved News of the World newspaper. He confessed, this morning, to Prince Charles that he is indeed going to miss reading the paper. He reminisced with Charles about the 'good old days' of Th...

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Funny story: KGB hitwoman's gofer carjacked

KGB hitwoman's gofer carjacked

London - (Karmic Mess): A man described as a former equerry to lardarse impostor the Queen Mother has had a spot of bother. Forty nine year-old Niall Hall was carjacked, stripped naked, robbed and abused by thugs who then cleaned out his bank acco...

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Funny story: Helena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren

Helena Bonham Carter Declares War on Helen Mirren

Buried under accolades for her role in the King's Speech, the actress Helena Bonham Carter has now put the actress Helen Mirren on notice that her days are over as reigning queen of actresses portraying reigning queens. "Going forward, I deserve...

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Funny story: Queen Mother's car pelted with flowers

Queen Mother's car pelted with flowers

Queen Catherine the Queen Mother was being driven through the centre of London in her maroon ninety year old high top Rolls Royce yesterday, when she was spotted by pedestrians walking past street vendors selling flowers. They mobbed the car forc...

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Funny story: 97 UK descendants of clone cow

97 UK descendants of clone cow

London - (Reuterus & Mad Cow Disease Mess): A one-woman walking crime wave is how every security/intelligence agency around the world has dubbed her. "And now the putrid meat of her bloody relatives has totally contaminated the food chain!" d...

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Funny story: Kray Twins were Queen Mother's sons say patio corpse cops

Kray Twins were Queen Mother's sons say patio corpse cops

London - (Concrete Patio Mess): In their misspent youth they made Venables and Thompson seem like the angelic host. And for fifty years their reign of terror kept the fetid Queen Mother impersonator Viole(n)t Freeman sitting pretty in grace and fa...

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