New York - "For that kind of money you'd at least expect a blow job over the flambe tart course," one wealthy New Yorker said today after being asked to stump up $100k for a gala dinner table with William and Kate, "just ask Michelle Obama!"
The hoax royals are planning a three day money-grubbing exercise in NYC to swell their dwindling 'charity' coffers in what US philanthropissts have called an excruciatingly embarrassing gimme-gimme stunt.
By this morning 90% of invitees to the Met fundraising dinner had declined their invitations with one disgusted couple echoing President John F Kennedy in their 'Don't ask what this country can do for you when you darn well can't do anything by return'.
A proposed wreath laying ceremony at Ground Zero has also been cancelled amid fears of a mass public vomiting outbreak.
JK Rowling's bastard son William is 69.
