Secret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage

Written by queen mudder

Wednesday, 1 October 2014

image for Secret Service director resigns following White House raccoon rampage
Julia Pierson had received a Presidential commendation for chasing a skunk out of the West Wing in 2013

Washington - US Secret Service director Julia Pierson has quit her job after a raccoon ran riot in the White House and marked the Lincoln Bedroom with its anal scent glands.

Pierson had been criticised for not having taken the raccoon threat seriously despite plenty of intelligence since early 2012.

Today her spoksperson said the wily intruder behind her downfall had been confirmed as the same critter than terrorised a Bronx beauty parlor earlier last month.

Her resignation comes just daze after a break-in at the West Wing by an indigenous Colorado skunk which stank the place out during a Harvest Festival prayer breakfast organised by Michelle Obama.

Last Tuesday Pierson told a congressional committee that she was taking the rap for the lapses in security which had seriously violated White House protocol.

She then tendered her resignation to Homeland Security Secretary Jeh Johnson who said "And about bloody time too" before storming off to play golf.

The President's Portuguese water dog Bo is six and a half.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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