Thad "Cochroach" Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician

Funny story written by E. Williams

Wednesday, 2 July 2014

image for Thad "Cochroach" Cochran Now Considered Lowest Form of Politician
Spotted in daylight - a Cochran campaign worker

Jackson, MS - It now appears that Mississippi Senator Thad Cochran may have cheated and used the lowest of political tactics in his recent Republican primary to hang onto his political power at all costs.

Fellow republicans now refer to Thadeus as "Cochroach" Cochran after the campaign his team led against his republican challenger, which lead to a very narrow victory for the politician.

All politicians are viewed as just above pond scum by most Americans but Cochran has now assured himself a spot on the 'most hated list', even within his own party.

The "Cochroaches" who worked on behalf of the old man are equally as guilty and, it has now been confirmed, each of them had their consciences surgically removed prior to the election.

While voter fraud is more common on the democratic side of the aisle, due to their 'win at all costs' mindset, seeing it in a republican race, while not unheard of, has enraged republicans across the country.

Robocalls placed on behalf of "The Cochroach" were used to scare black voters into thinking that his opponent, if elected, would send blacks back to the 1950's in terms of advancements they have made in society since then.

Generally, those scare tactics are reserved for democrats in a general election.

In addition to the scare tactics, it has now been made public that "Cochroaches" actually paid democratic voters to cross over and vote for Cochran. There may still be lawsuits in the future for the low-life politician if this is proven to be true.

Cochran currently ranks just behind 'contracting a flesh-eating bacteria' on the list of things the American people admire the least.

In the future, it is recommended all politicians planning to run for office in Mississippi have a rock solid platform to run on and a big ass can of Raid on hand - regardless of which party they happen to be running for.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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