Ukraine elections in dispute by White House and Yats

Funny story written by joseph k winter

Tuesday, 13 May 2014

image for Ukraine elections in dispute by White House and Yats
Voters in East Ukraine must wait for the real election May 25

Yesterday the White House said "it does not recognize" results of the Ukraine referendum on Sunday. An "illegal" process.

Arseniy "Yats" Yatsenyuk called it "farce."

But in February, when Kiev protesters drove President Yanukovich from office--an action not taken at the ballot box but with mobs and violence in the street--that was "legal."

Mr. Carney's office explained carefully that on that occasion the Kiev protesters were acting democratically for the people.

True, a few people were killed and it's not clear who is responsible, since casualties occurred amongst both protesters and Yanukovich military.

Unfortunately, democracy can sometimes be a little messy. However, in the Kiev situation the people's will prevailed.

This is true even though Ms. Victoria "F--k the EU" Nuland and the US ambassador hand-picked the temporary government, which brought "Yats" to power.

In contrast, the voting in Eastern Ukraine was not a proper ballot process. They used pencils illegally. Whether the people's will was expressed is irrelevant.

In fact, Russia needs to be held responsible for not stepping in to stop this faux election process.

This lack of responsibility got the people of East Ukraine all excited at the prospect their views might be recognized and lead on to dialogue.

At this point in Mr. Carney's office a large "Huh?" was heard from gathered reporters with furrowed brows.

Previously, wasn't Russia way too provocative getting involved in Crimea and stationing troops along the border? Now they should have stepped in?

And didn't the new "Yats" government immediately try to change the language laws against people in the east of Ukraine, disturbing them badly?

Plus is there an issue with the forthcoming IMF austerity programs?

Mr. Carney's spokesperson held up his right hand, frowning considerably.

What must be understood, he explained, is that allied interest in Ukraine is only to encourage democracy there.

It has nothing to do with economic or military interests in the region.

The IMF will generously loan the money Ukraine desperately needs.

Of course, pensions will need to be slashed and many people laid off to pay back this loan to the IMF. That is the usual IMF procedure under these circumstances.

Now, historically, if Russia hadn't gone ahead to seize Crimea . . .

Again furrowed brows on reporters in Mr. Carney's office.

But didn't Crimea initiate the referendum there to join Russia, and didn't that pass overwhelmingly to show Crimean people's wishes? And wasn't that a democratic process?

Once more the negative. The US "does not recognize" anything opposed to US policies.

Action in the street--true, casualties are inevitable--is more reliable in showing the democratic needs and wishes of the people.

The people in Donetsk, Lugansk, and elsewhere should recognize the election on May 25, although they have no representatives in that contest.

But there will be more elections in upcoming years they can join if they will just follow the rules properly.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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