US Media Responds to Allegations of Political Bias

Funny story written by Frank Michaels

Tuesday, 20 May 2014

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US media in the spotlight

Centralia, Ill. (UGH News) - Recent allegations that America's media is so entirely politically biased that one's brain would have to be mashed in granny's wringer-washer for any of it to come across as believable, has stirred a storm of responses.

Fox News today unleashed a fury of denial over charges that it leans to the right of center when it comes to news reporting and opinion/journalism. Bill O'Reilly, wearing a full suit of body armor, retorted that, "We love the Democrats, we just can't say so out loud. If Obama wasn't in office, the entire FNC crew wouldn't have a job!"

Meanwhile across the street, (MS)NBC quickly responded to allegations that they bent over to the left. Brian Williams, with his hands on his knees, was recorded shouting, "Thank you sir, may I have another? Thank you sir, may I have another? Thank you sir, may I have another?"

When CNN was asked if they had anything to say, Anderson Cooper was the man with the plan; immediately streaking up to the roof of the CNN Center in Atlanta, where he then stripped naked and ejaculated on the main satellite dish all while singing God Bless America.

As all of this was happening, CBS and ABC were clearly seen skinny dipping together in the Potomac River... with both promising films at 7 & 11.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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