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Funny satire stories about Spiders

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Funny story: Spider doctors working round the clock to help coronavirus victims

Spider doctors working round the clock to help coronavirus victims

As global deaths continue to rise, human doctors and nurses are increasingly putting themselves at risk of catching the disease and spreading it unintentionally. Many of them operate with little or no protection, and the government is not helping the...

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Funny story: Giant Red Spider Crawled Over Man's Legs As He Took A Dump

Giant Red Spider Crawled Over Man's Legs As He Took A Dump

A giant red spider caused a certain amount of alarm yesterday, when it crawled out from under the toilet seat and over the legs of a man who was taking a crap. The man, Bruce Warner, a resident of Crook Springs in western Australia, had raced to h...

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Funny story: Gay tarantulas' behaviour revealed

Gay tarantulas' behaviour revealed

Most people have heard of gay penguins, but gay spiders? Professor Quentin Webb of the University of West Ingtime has spent years studying them and has published his astonishing findings. According to Professor Webb, homosexuality is rampant among...

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Funny story: The Web Recoils As Prince Charles' 'Black Spider' Letters Published

The Web Recoils As Prince Charles' 'Black Spider' Letters Published

London - There has been a venomous backlash about Prince Charles' letters to various tarantulas, black widows, funnel webs and birdeating spiders published in Britain today. Posts on the ArachnophobesAnonymous.con website allege the Pretender has...

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Funny story: Thousands of venomous spiders drive Bill de Blasio and family from Park Slope home

Thousands of venomous spiders drive Bill de Blasio and family from Park Slope home

Brooklyn - New York's mayoral family the de Blasios have been driven from their Park Slope home by an infestation of venomous spiders that fell from the roof space and burst out of the bathroom walls. They've hunkered down at the official NYC mayo...

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Funny story: Three Dead From Super-Erections By Spider Bites

Three Dead From Super-Erections By Spider Bites

It seems that about a dozen men of all ages has been reading about the Brazian Wandering Spider which has powerful venom and one bite can cause the death of a grown adult but not likely. However it can kill children, pets and make others pretty sick.

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Funny story: Spider Venom Causes Painful Erections!

Spider Venom Causes Painful Erections!

The Brazilian Wandering Spider has repeatedly ranked as the world's most venomous spider to those who study them. You hear a lot about Brown Recluse and Black Widows but these guys are hunters on the ground. They do not try to catch their prey by...

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Funny story: Giant Spider Found Living In Sochi Stadium

Giant Spider Found Living In Sochi Stadium

Just a day after the Sochi winter Olympics had finished and already the purpose-built stadium has found itself a new tenant. A thirty-foot tarantula has snuck into the arena and made itself at home. The gigantic spider was found by the building's j...

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Funny story: Michelle Obama Carries Tarantula in Purse!

Michelle Obama Carries Tarantula in Purse!

The hard looks that First Lady Michelle Obama gave to the lady next to her husband while they attended the Mandela Memorial spoke for itself. This First Lady will stand for no nonsense. Later in the evening, the same Obama admirer (who was tryi...

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Funny story: Queen's horror as 'virtually extinct' flesh-eating spiders introduced into Sandringham bogs

Queen's horror as 'virtually extinct' flesh-eating spiders introduced into Sandringham bogs

Norfolk - A colony of the endangered species is causing havoc at the royal residence after making new nesting arrangements in the Queen's ensuite composting lav. The organic throne room is said to be completely infested after a Phobics Anonymous-s...

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Funny story: Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider.

Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider.

Orb-Web Spider's Removable Penis Finishes Without Him. Lucky Orb-Spider. Dig if you will a picture: It's 6:30AM. You have 45 minutes to shit, shower and shave before you trudge off to the job that is slowly sucking your life-force away. Ripping Your Own Yogurt Chucker Off, Mid-hump, Makes As Much Sense... ... as calling a story with no actual names "too defamatory". Sadly, both happen more...

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Funny story: Jumping Spider, Putin's Wagon

Jumping Spider, Putin's Wagon

Following reports from researchers in Japan about the unique vision characteristics of the Brown Jumping Spider, Vladimir Putin claims to have studied and discovered the distance judging proclivities of the spider some five years earlier, from the in...

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Funny story: Taronga Zoo Hires World Famous Arachnid Whisperer

Taronga Zoo Hires World Famous Arachnid Whisperer

Sydney, Taronga Zoo - The famous Funnel Spider, the world's most poisonous spider, has been behaving so aggressively that two regular handlers have been bitten and evacuated to receive anti-venom treatment. Zoo officials have had to call in an outsid...

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Funny story: Arsenal to sign Spider

Arsenal to sign Spider

After Arsenal shipping a canoeful of goals during the Sunday meatfest with arch rivals Moist United, the Arsenal manager Herr Wenger has been recommended a Spider, that can play all along the back four by his deemed nemesis Steve Bruce Forsyth.

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Funny story: Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport

Spider sparks terror alert at Manchester Airport

A spider triggered an evacuation of Manchester Airport today when it was mistaken for a terror attack. It was not a massive mutated beast crushing planes under one of it's eight feet. It wasn't even a venomous spider. Or hairy. It was an ordinary...

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Funny story: Ratarsed Solstice Druids disturb rare Parliament Hill spider habitat

Ratarsed Solstice Druids disturb rare Parliament Hill spider habitat

London - Drunken Druids have trashed a UNESCO-protected tube-web spider colony in North London's Parliament Hill tonight. Annual Summer Solstice revelry descended into farce around a quarter past six, Hampstead time, just as the sun began its annu...

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Funny story: Biggest ever Spider fossil is a tiddler!

Biggest ever Spider fossil is a tiddler!

The biggest spider fossil ever discovered has been found in China. Yet it is a real tiddler! Evolutionists claim that the spider is a relative of the Golden Orb Spider, which grows to approximately 15cm. However, the fossil specimen is a mere 5cm.

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