"Aye bruh," one text message reads, "Check out dees fresh-ass Jordans." President Barack Obama was only one of many to have his cellphone calls and text messages intercepted by the NSA recently, and his apparent lack of concern for world events is beginning to show.
Another intercepted cellphone message shows a shirtless Obama selfie, face obscured by shadows, posting "AYE WHERE DEES HOES AT?" on Black Planet. While the President vehemently denies these messages, NSA records prove to be the smoking gun, leaving no doubt as to the source of the communique.
White House officials have yet to make a statement about the situation, but sources close to the NSA are now claiming that Michelle Obama is mixed up in the scandal as well. A video, supposedly uploaded to a fake Facebook account owned by Michelle, shows her, back to the camera, shaking her behind flirtatiously. "Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce," she repeats several times, then, "Ah ha, y'all so cray, y'all so cray, y'all so cray."
Again, the NSA claims the source of the video was Michelle Obama's cellphone, and the fact that the Facebook account was recently deleted is adding fuel to the fire.