Kansas To Ban Holding Hands Before Marriage

Funny story written by Bureau

Thursday, 27 March 2014

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Lloyd Bratcher and the local group of Church Police have had the Kansas Attorney General to enforce the law voted in by the state officials that a couple cannot hold hands, especially in public, before marriage.

Miss Nancy Ingraham, 72 and a spinster lady began gathering signatures 15 years ago and never gave up until she got the bill passed.

"She's a tough old bird and she stated that holding hands between teens in the park can only lead to kissing and other vulgar things that is provided for in marriage", stated Judge Lake Emerson. "That old lady has talked my ears off for 15 years and I couldn't take it anymore."

According to Miss Ingraham, if it doesn't lead a couple in marriage to having children, they should also withhold such privileges but she leaves that to each married couple.

In the meanwhile, Miss Ingraham will have volunteers out there near the park and other dens of sin to keep the order and the photos as evidence in court.

"You'd think that babies could have been flown by a stork to a couple in the neighborhood, where everyone could watch to see where it landed with the baby. But those golden years are gone."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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