Republicans make last ditch effort to woo halfwits

Funny story written by Jen A. Taylia

Monday, 6 November 2006

Hey!

The funny story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Republicans make last ditch effort to woo halfwits
Bob is concerned that even to him, Bush now seems stupid.

Polls today show that while die hard Republicans will continue to blindly vote the party line, the important swing demographic, "idiots whose idea of investigating an issues is watching a TV commercial" are now tending to the left.

Analysts do not agree on the cause of this shift.

Fox News reporter Wai Wong mused that it is very likely a result of sluggish job growth due to mistakes made in the Clinton era, but most disagree.

The majority of commentators suggest that now even a moron can't fail to see the train-wreck of a disaster that the Bush Administration has become.

Independent studies reveal that adults with IQs as low as 52 are questioning the validity of facts coming from the White House. For the first time this group are admitting that Bush doing things just like they would if they were President isn"t necessarily a good thing, acknowledging that the last time they were trusted to make an important decision people got hurt.

With continuing bad news from Iraq piled on top of gay sex and corruption scandals, many who retardedly voted red in 2004 are suddenly waking up from their Talk Radio induced stupor.

"I voted for Bush in 2004, but I'm voting Democrat now" said one interviewee who should be slapped for not pulling their head out of their ass sooner. "To that point things were going so well" they continued, oblivious of their own stupidity. "All of a sudden things got worse in Iraq and at home" they quipped angering anyone who two years ago fired up the 7 brain cells required to see that things had already gone to shit.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!


Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot