British Prime Minister, Tony Blair, today indicated that Britain was to re-name under pressure from ministers to create a society which is entirely governed and restricted by themselves. In a similar manner to the relaunch of the Labour Party, dubbed then "New Labour", Britain will instead become "Big-Britain" in deference to the novel 1985 by George Orville.
"Britain has become a society. Entirely unable to govern itself. Unable to make the right choices. Incapable of deciding how much salt to put on their fish suppers," Mr Blair commented in that bizarre broken english he favours in order to seem pleasant. "Britain. We love it so much. It deserves strangling.
"Big-Britain can become a marketing tool. With which. We can hope to show the world that we are a loving, caring nation. Full of people who would otherwise be thoughtless zombies. Without our constant. And nagging. Vigilence."
There has been some very low level resistence to the idea by liberation group Fathers 4 Justice, but the majority of their efforts were spoiled by last month's ban in imported super hero costumes. We caught up with one woman from Hull who demanded to have her say.
"It's a bloody disgrace!" said Margaret Beckwith with some vigour. "It's taking away the civil liberties that my Harold, bless his soul, fought for during his time with the Navy between 1990 and 1992. Big-Britain? More like Big-Bobbins!"
The name change is set to occur as early as 2012, assuming the motion is ratified by the House of Lords, the institution founded in 1014(AD) and which is still run by many of the original founders.
