Denver, Colorado - "The atmosphere here in the Highest State has significantly improved since we banned toxic nocturnal emissions," the Colorado Governor said today, "many of which were contributing to the uh, glow ball warming effect."
Hickenlooper is credited with Colorado's environmental brain wave that exterminates ecologically destructive petrochemical fumes and replaces them with highly desirable cannabis fumes.
These have an uncanny ability to neutralize oil and gas vapors by binding their sticky little molecules to spent THC, a natural byproduct of smoking a spliff.
State of the art fracking equipment then carbon captures the resulting atmospheric cocktail before burying it deep below the Earth's rocky crust - "hopefully somewhere in a neighboring state like Utah, Wyoming or Nebraska, heheh," Chickencooper added.
An ounce of Denver Dynamite retails at around five hundred bucks.
